Thursday, April 19, 2012

It's Happening, I'm Living My Life...

It's happening. I'm actually turning into someone who is living her life more than she's thinking about food and exercise. Don't get me wrong. The healthy choices are happening, but because they are habit and without nearly as much effort as it used to take.

For example, I was exercising with my heart rate monitor tracker and thought I was way under my range for optimum calorie burning. Turns out I was right there, but my body is just more used to working at that level. That felt great to see!

Before I was hungry an hour after eating. Now my mind and body are accustomed to eating every three hours. Even if I do start feeling hungry a little sooner I get a drink of water and know I can wait and I'm fine.

Best of all, I had a slight weight gain mid last week (less than a pound) which I figured could be due to it being that time of the month. Before I would have been frustrated and given up for at least a couple days, just making the situation worse. This time I recognized that I need to just trust in the process and not stress. I stuck with my eating habits, fitting in exercise where I could and...

Even better, I don't feel like I have something I have to prove anymore. Before I was really sad and frustrated about not having any more children. I just felt all the time like I HAD to have one more. I felt like I would be a failure if I didn't have four kids, which I feel silly even typing right now. I think a big part of that was the weight, as in if I had four kids I could justify being this size. Or that idea of having to compensate in some other way since I couldn't beat this. Well, I don't feel that way anymore.

Yes, there are still some girl names I would have liked to use :) but my little Sophia is more than enough girl and energy for any family. :) I FINALLY am donating my maternity and baby things without feeling guilt or disappointment and I'm embracing the chance I have to parent the children I do have. I'm so grateful for that opportunity.

Basically, I feel like I'm starting to really live my life. There are definitely still setbacks and problems to work through. But at least the load of feeling huge and out of shape isn't one of them, because I'm working on making progress. I am on the road to being who I want to be...and that is a great place to be.

Check back tomorrow for more healthy food ideas, good recipe websites and info on how to support our family's first Walk for Diabetes! I got the official go-ahead from the Hubby last night so it's ON! Love, Eva


Katie-babe said...

Your doing great!!! But remember not to rely on just the scale. Measure your self also. You can't just look at the scale. And it's ok to gain a few back. Your on the right track! Love and miss you and your family!!!!!!

Eva Melissa Barnett said...

Totally. I never measured myself at the beginning so I feel weird starting now, but I know there's more to it than just the scale. I probably should start now since the scale will probably budge less and less as I get closer to my goal weight. LOL Miss you TONS!!!